I have been highly stressed. I feel like I'm handling things fairly well, but then I start having nightmares in which I begin to have panic attacks. I have lucid dreams, so I can often wake myself up or change something in the dream to ease the painic.
The triggers for this always seem to be related to situations where I have little or no control or say, such as while going through TSA check points or customs and immigration at large international airports when the agents are harried and yelling at paying customers. I get overwhelmed and confused which doesn't help. Even thinking of public speaking does it too.
I was having panic attacks and or dissociating during ministry school talks during the last 10 of my 42 years in. Think about how much they controlled even in that one situation-- as a sister, they assigned your partner, your counsel point, the theme, the setting (Our school overseer seemed to get perverse pleasure from pairing you up with an inappropriate partner for the given material or a bizarre setting that would just never happen.), the material, the number of scriptures (not more than 3), the structure (intro, body, conclusion), notes or outlines only, no scripts (extemperaneous speaking preferred) and the timing with that damned bell. Don't even get me started on the control around assemblies and conventions.
I just got back from a trip overseas to visit family. My husband couldn't go, because of work and caring for his elderly parents. I don't fly internationally with my service dog (too fearful of what might happen to her.)
Today there is no food in the house, a blizzard is coming tonight, and I'm immobilized with my service dog on my lap on my couch, intermittently crying and shaking.
I've been in therapy since 2012 for PTSD and generalised anxiety disorder, and I've been out of the Borg for over six years.